The Italian Parliament has established, by law, 20 years ago, a feast dedicated to grandparents, to be celebrated every year on October 2, on the occasion of the Catholic feast of the Custodi Angels, to underline their role as guides and protectors of grandchildren. Several studies and sources indicate that the presence of grandparents, neighbors or family, is beneficial for the development and happiness of children, because they offer emotional support, transmit family values and traditions and actively participate in their daily lives.
La nonna materna
I can consider myself lucky, because I grew up with the presence of the maternal grandmother in the family. Strong woman, determined, operous, generous, lover of life. Abandoned by her husband with six small dependent children, two boys and four feminishes, she had to roll up her sleeves and be done in every way to keep and carry on the family. The husband, the grandfather I never knew, had left in 1925 for the USA with the intention of recalling the family. But after a few years he lost his tracks. My grandmother worked until the age of retirement, so she represented, for my family, an important resource, especially until my father, in the difficult period of the post-war period, lived in the precarious working environment. Moreover, that status allowed her to be generous with her grandchildren. In addition to exercising various gifts, it allowed us, often, to accompany it to theater or to cinema,. The thing I remember with great pleasure was the return home, after the shows, strictly in carriage, which represented, for those times, the taxi. He loved light shows, comic magazines and singers of the moment. As a teenager, I was encouraged to go to the cinema every Sunday, putting in my hand a certain sum that allowed me to attend assiduously first-class cinemas. Enlarged the area of memories I find the flavors of some of his dishes, which still today, when we speak among grandchildren, we indicate how salad, the guillot, the granny frittata. And then there’s his personal story that would be prepared as a screenplay for a movie. There are his stories, his popular sayings and ways of saying Sicilians, which have become, by now, family linguistic heritage. She died in my arms in a cold February 1964 night.
Il nonno materno
As mentioned above, I have never known my mother-in-law grandfather, because, established in America, since 1927 he has no longer given news of himself. The family didn’t talk about him. And if sometimes the speech led to him, he was called “the Pharaoh.” For us it was as if it never existed and there were no pictures that portrayed him. My uncle, his son-in-law, who spent a few years in New York, managed, in the early 1950s, to track him to Philadelphia, discovering that an American family had been remade. So it was bigamo. My aunt, his daughter, moved to the U.S. in 1955, wanting to track him found out he was already dead. Then, a few years ago, my cousin from Long Island (N.Y.), involved me in creating the family tree of our family, asking me to provide him with all the data of relatives living in Italy. He would have taken care of those in the USA. When we came to decide on our maternal grandfather, we wondered whether to insert it or exclude it. In the end we decided for yes, because, despite everything, in our DNA there is trace of its presence. We started from his birth certificate and from that of Italian marriage and, through an American site of genealogy, we came to rebuild his American history, following the consultation of numerous documents and other family trees. We could finally know, through the photos found, his face and his bearing as young and more eager. And then we found that he had arrived in the U.S. once, in 1909 to accompany his sister who had to marry in Philadelphia. He returned to Italy in 1910 to marry my grandmother, with whom he had six children, the last born in 1923. Then he returned to Philadelphia in 1925 where, most likely met an old flame, known in his first American stay of 1909, and married her in 1927. She, of Calabrian origin, was, at that time, widow with 5 children.
I nonni paterni
My paternal grandmother was a sweet and kind woman, of infinite goodness and patience. She was illiterate, but she knew by heart an infinity of stories, especially of the lives of the saints. We lived close, and when, as a child, winter diseases forced me into bed, I called her next to me to hear her stories, which she repeated and patiently repeated. It was a half-dead, because he took off the evil eye. As a child, I had strong headaches. When they came to me, my mother, attributing that disorder to evil effects, the result of hostility to my person, she sent me to her grandmother to take away my evil eye. My grandmother used to put a deep plate in my hand with water in it. By making the cross above the plate he released salt in four opposite corners of the edge of the plate, while, undervoking, he prayed prayers. Then, in a coffee cup with olive oil, he painted his finger and brought it over the plate to drop a drop of that oil. If there was the evil eye the drop, in contact with the water of the dish, it widened quickly to the edges of the same dish, and then continued with other drops until the drop widened. He meant the evil eye was removed. What really amazing, I came home free completely from headaches. Even now that I’m wearing that practice of the evil eye in the context of superstition, so far from my way of believing and thinking, I can’t give an explanation to what happened to me then.
The memory of my paternal grandfather is, instead, mainly linked to the stories of the events that had seen him engaged to the front, as the infant of the First World War, when he was still fighting with the bayonet gun.
Io come nonno
I have a single grandchild, who today is 17 years old. My wife and I have, so, could focus all our attention on her. She grew up practically in our house, living near. We enjoyed her childhood and her early teens. Two years ago he moved with his parents to another city, but we keep frequent contacts. Being retired for 15 years, I could spend more time on her than I could with my children. I’ve been a playmate. Driver to accompany her and take her back to school, but also to Volleyball and gym. He was chatting a lot on those trips and I wanted them to never finish. I helped her do her homework and so I had a way to transfer some of my knowledge to her. Passionate about both cuisine, we often spent moments together preparing dishes of our culinary tradition. This still happens today when he comes to visit us. I accompanied her to the Shopping Centres for the purchase of toys, clothing, shoes, jewelry, perfumes, stationery and everything else. All this you and me alone. We used to go to the movies too often alone, because we had common interests and tastes. The same thing was for the vision of television programs. For at least three years I have had a support accommodation, for a part time post-board job, in Rome on the long term near Piazza del Popolo. Our walks were memorable. From Piazza del Popolo, along the famous Via del Corso there were those streets that lead to Piazza di Spagna, the Trevi fountain, Piazza Navona and many other sites characteristic of the centre of Rome. They were fantastic moments, which we always remember are pleasure.
Today, when he comes to visit us, he willingly agrees to tell himself and for me it is an immense pleasure to see his maturity of thought and action, and to enjoy his school successes and not. In addition to external beauty, it manifests uncommon intelligence and wisdom in young people of its age. As a grandfather, I feel proud and satisfied to see his personality, which I have contributed in some way to form.
The times that come to visit us, when you leave, for me and for my wife, love cards hidden in the places we frequented or in the objects we used. So the treasure hunt opens until we find them. With messages like: “I love you, you are special to me,” “I love you so much.”.
And then you understand that your grandpa’s job has given good results and it’s been profitable, like my grandparents did.
Article The grandparents’ party, twenty years later, comes from IlNewyorkese.
